Women's Shoes: The Real Cause of the Country Coming to a stand still in the snow

The recent snow has lead me to one conclusion. We don't do bad weather very well. What is the cause of such havoc at the slightest sight of falling white stuff.

I have concluded, from direct experience, that the reason for the above calcification is the state of women's shoes.

I know I might be I danger of creating a caricature but I have good reason for my diagnosis.

A recent shopping trip found me walking in the middle of a couple of female family members whilst trying to hold them upright in the face of mounting pressure.

Why is it, I would wondered, that my shoes offer me assistance in walking on the snow but my wife and daughter's refuse to help.

When we arrived in town we stopped, as we often do, for refreshment; it seems that a 5 mile car journey makes Mrs M feel like she is 'spitting feathers'.

I took the opportunity to look at the soles on the boots worn by my two companions and found that they had no grip available; merely a smooth surface of either plastic or leather.

It was as if the manufacturers had specifically designed them to slip in snowy conditions. It is difficult to imagine that it is cost related; the girls have always paid more for their footwear than I. And yet all of my shoes have a reasonable amount of available grip.

We continued our shopping expedition (an apt word if ever there was one); I couldn't help feeling like I was escorting Todd Carty around the ice rink. Every few steps there would be a high pitch yelp and a strong tug on my arm by one female or the other.

So could it be, as I suspect, that the cause of our recent stand still was women's shoes. If so then we are likely to be doomed ever time there is even the hint of a snow drift. My recent research, done whilst waiting for Mrs M and offspring to return from the changing room, convinced me that functionality has little place in the design of female footwear.

The only hint I could find of anything approaching practicality were a pair of slip on flat slippers that could fold up and fit in a handbag. Apparently they were for the journey to and from an event because, of course, party shoes are far too uncomfortable to travel in.

Whilst I admire the ingenuity of the product on offer I have to conclude that women's shoes are not intended to be functional. If there is to be snow in 2010 then you know what to blame when the whole country grinds to a halt!